Fandom: Shameless (US)
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Characters: Ian Gallagher, Mickey Milkovich, Mandy Milkovich
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, dancer!Ian, ficadayinmay, this got shitty towards the end why does that always happen, mildly ooc mickey towards the end, Implied Sexual Content
Series: Part 17 of Fic A Day In May
With its fading wallpaper, cracked ceiling tiles, and threadbare carpet, it was an unlikely place to find heaven.
based on a prompt: Them as kids say around 4-6ish seriously just cute adorable little them.
Okay, so I may or may not have gone slightly overboard (as-fucking-always)
Mickey’s been hanging out at the baseball field ever since he was a little kid. ‘Course, mostly he was on his own, his big brothers were usually too busy with other stuff to play.
He would take down his little league bat (which used to be Joey’s before he got bored of it) and find an old baseball and head on down at the end of the day when all the practice was over. He was only seven but his parents didn’t really care if he was out after dark, so long as he was back before… well, as long as he was back.
So one night he headed out, bat over his shoulder and carrying the tatty old ball in the other hand, making his way out to the field. He liked it there, especially alone.
His house was so loud, lots of siblings and yelling and as much as he loved his little sister, she was a massive crybaby.
His method of practice was simple, throw the ball up really high, giving him enough time to get a good grip on the bat and take a big swing. He almost always missed.
There’s a reason baseball is a team sport.
So tonight he kept up his method, throw and miss, until he managed to time it just right, the bat hitting the ball with a massive clunk and flying out and into the dugout. Safe to say he was pretty happy with himself.
He dropped his bat and jogged over to the place where the ball had rolled and grinned to himself because damn it that was awesome!
As he jumped down into the pit to look for the ball he realised he wasn’t alone. He saw a small kid sitting with his back to him on one of the benches, leaning his head against the wall and holding his knees up against his chest.
Weird, there was almost never anyone here this late, Mickey thought. He walked over to the kid, calling out a ‘hey’ as he did.
The kid spun around, his face covered in freckles and his big eyes a little glassy.
"Who’re you?" Mickey asked, stopping a couple metres behind him.
The kid turned around, he had to have been about Mandy’s age, definitely not older than Mickey. He sniffed a little and wiped the back of his hand under his nose.
"Ian," he said quietly.
So, I guess I made as if Mickey’s been with the Gallaghers for a few days now. Mickey wants to figure out what’s going on with Ian.
He shall find out in the form of a game made for 13 year old girls: 20 Questions.
Mickey heard more than saw the Gallaghers leave, his head down, hands gripping the counter, glaring into the cluttered sink. He could still hear Fiona’s words circling around his head, repeating the word ‘suicidal’ over and over again, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth and burning anger in his stomach.
“She has a point, Mick,” Mandy said softly, hovering in the kitchen entryway.
“Fuck off,” Mickey snarled, tightening his grip, the skin around his tattoos turning a stark white.
“I don’t want to see Ian get hospitalized anymore than you do, but…”
Mickey whirled around, taking a step towards his sister. “I said…” he trailed off when she barely held back a flinch. Silently cursing the piece of shit sitting at their kitchen table, Mickey drew in a shaky breath, running a hand down his face, his fingertips coming away wet. Embarrassed, he turned around, glaring into the sink again. Forcing himself to be calm, he quietly said, “He’s not going anywhere.”
“What are you gonna do,” Mandy started, her voice smaller than Mickey had ever heard it, “force food and pills down his throat until he gets better?”
“If I gotta.” He turned, moving slowly towards his sister, hissing, “I’ll do whatever I have to, to make sure he’s gonna be okay. So either you help me or stay the fuck outta my way.” He then stormed past Mandy, blatantly ignoring Svetlana and her blonde whatever, walking into his room. Mickey slammed the door behind him, leaning the back of his head against the wood, pressing the palms of his hands into his eyes.
He really should have expected this clusterfuck. Every time something good happened in his life, something else had to come along and fuck it up. He finally did something that Terry wouldn’t approve of, got shot and sent to juvie for his trouble. He’s finally in a place where he’s not repulsed by what he liked; Frank fucking Gallagher had to fuck it up. He finally kissed Ian, again he got shot for his trouble (though he’d take that bullet every single time just to feel Ian’s lips against his, and, yes, he knew how gay that sounded). He gathered up the courage to invite Ian over, try to get him out of that poor excuse for a boys’ home, Terry caught them. He thought he could still see Ian while being married to Svetlana, Ian took off to join the army. He gave into his impulses, kissed Ian in public, followed him to some stupid party, admitted they were together to a fucking stranger, and came out to fucking Terry and his entire family; all for fucking Ian Gallagher; all to prove that Ian wasn’t some fucking mistress or whatever.
They were finally happy, finally in a place where they could be free, could be together, and some fucking piece of shit bi-whatever came along and fucked that up. The absolute worst part, Mickey couldn’t fight this for Ian. He couldn’t shoot at it, couldn’t stab it, couldn’t scare it away with the Milkovich scowl. This thing, this bi-whatever, came from inside Ian. His own damn demons working against him, and there wasn’t much Mickey could do to help him.
But he wasn’t about to have Ian taken away either. Not about to see him get shoved into some hospital; locked away, under the care of some cold blooded bitch nurse, some Nurse Ratched whatever, who wouldn’t give two flying fucks about Ian the individual. She would only see Ian the crazy patient who could turn a knife or a gun on himself without batting an eyelash.
An involuntary sob broke free from Mickey’s lips, but he forced himself to stay in control. He wasn’t about to cry like some bitch, he wasn’t gonna let this disease win. He might not be able to fight Ian’s inner demons for him, but he could damn well be there to pick up the pieces when Ian eventually snapped out of his depression.
Mickey lowered his hands, kicking his boots off, and crossed the room. He crawled onto his bed, hovering over Ian, right hand hesitating before running through the younger boy’s hair, his heart clenching when Ian muttered, “Go away.”
“I know you wanna be left alone,” Mickey started softly, “but I’m not gonna go away. You hear me? I lost you once, I ain’t losing you again.”
He sounded like such a pansy, and if Ian weren’t dealing with his own shit, he wouldn’t let Mickey hear the end of it. But life had fucked them over, fucked Ian over, and it’d probably be a long while before Ian smiled again let alone gave Mickey shit for some girly crap he said.
Mickey laid down, head on the edge of Ian’s pillow, forehead resting against the younger boy’s back, his hand still tangled in the red head’s hair. He hadn’t been lying when he told Svetlana he didn’t know if he loved Ian. Mickey had never been in love, wasn’t quite sure what love actually felt like, but if it had anything to do with the queasy feeling in his stomach every time Ian smiled, the way his heart skipped a beat when they kissed, or the way he felt free whenever he and Ian were alone then he might be in love.
Pressing a feather light kiss against Ian’s skin, letting his hand drift down the younger boy’s face and settle on his chest, Mickey whispered, “We’re gonna get through this, Ian. I-I promise.” Mickey had once heard Ian say Gallaghers pay their debts. Well, Milkoviches kept their promises, and even if it’s the last thing he did, Mickey was going to make sure Ian came back to him.